SOUNDCHECK
Friday, March 30, 2012 § Leave a comment
“We are not making music because we are happy. We are happy because we make music.”
Sometimes, when you are in a gloomy mood, it’s enough to change the song.*
*The song might be literally the song on your headset, or the song/story that you are playing in your head. Here’s one that currently puts me in a good mood:
R-E-S-P-E-C-T or I KINDA LIKE YOUR HAIR, DONALD
Thursday, March 29, 2012 § Leave a comment
Etymologically “respect” is made up of looking back at someone. It’s about regard for past actions. Respecting you means I know what to expect from you. It’s the consistency of your actions. Is it sufficient to be consistent? No. Someone who is consistently late will not be respected for always being late. But we might say, “I respect you for always being on time”, or “for always trying to be honest with me.” It’s about something that takes effort.
When we see someone very successful we might be inclined to respect them. We don’t respect them for their achievements though; we respect them for what we assume they did for their success. It’s not the result we respect, but the effort and discipline that lead them there.
You can’t respect Donald Trump for having countless buildings in NYC with his name on it. I might respect him for sticking to his hair-set-up though – because I have to assume that it takes emotional commitment to keep it that way, given how much fun he is made of because of it. We are respected for the effort that we put into something, especially when it is related to emotional integrity. Getting respect begins with respecting ourselves – doing what we think is right is a commitment that we keep to ourselves. It takes conviction and courage to act with integrity.
When we achieve success without courage and conviction, it is not fulfilling. Getting lucky gives us a short-term boost of joy, but doesn’t provide us with sustained self-respect and content. Society is better at celebrating achievements than integrity. That’s confusing: We might imagine we need achievements to be successful, respected and liked. But it’s the other way around! Our success should be defined by the respect that we get – from ourselves first and foremost. Commercial success has a great chance of following that personal success.
Success is not a prerequisite to respect; respect is the prerequisite to success.
We earn respect from ourselves and others when we courageously do what we believe in.
Respect Donald, respect!
APPLIED LOVE
Wednesday, March 28, 2012 § Leave a comment
When I am full of loving energy, but I don’t apply myself for lack of discipline, I drift and become unhappy with myself. (pink corner)
When I am blindly disciplined about something, but it is not based on values that I am passionate about, but rather motivated by fears of fitting in, not being lonely, being expendable, then there is a degree of satisfaction I receive from the achievements, but I do not arrive at content. (gray corner)
When I am fearful and don’t apply myself with any discipline, I am insecure and have a sense of being lost. (black corner)
The gravitational force of the matrix is towards the black corner. Lack of discipline eventually drains my loving energy. And lack of purpose eventually drains my ability to be disciplined.
It’s hard to move up and right in the matrix below. But while it’s hard to move into the blue corner, it’s always clear when I am not in it. If I am not in the blue corner and sit myself down for a quiet minute, I have an acute sense of not being happy and fulfilled.
So I sit often for that minute to check in. And if I am not in the blue corner, I try to bust a move.
THANK YOU FOR NOT SUFFERING
Tuesday, March 27, 2012 § Leave a comment
Key life objective: be free of suffering.
Options:
What you control: love it or change it.
What you influence: love it, change it or leave it.
What is as it is: love it or be indifferent about it.
It’s worthwhile to always keep in mind that you have these options. When you slide into a self-pitying mode or general misery, give yourself a kick, sit up straight, say “no suffering” to yourself and take initiative.
LOVE IS A VERB
Monday, March 26, 2012 § Leave a comment
Loving your work is the best recipe for loving your work.
Enjoy the week!
CUT THE “SHOULD”
Friday, March 23, 2012 § Leave a comment
There are a bunch of questions that we get stuck with, because they don’t have an answer on any plane that is meaningful.
One group of such questions are “should” questions:
“Should I quit my job/take that job?”
“Should I marry/divorce my partner?”
“Should I move to another city?”
I can save you time: cut the “should.”
Ever so subtly, the “should” introduces the notion that there is some meaningful path preset for us and all we have to do is find it. There isn’t. It’s all up to you. That is liberating and burdensome at the same time.
The notion of “being authentic” is not at all the same idea as “being your true self.” If you are looking for your true self, you’ll find it’s like peeling an onion. You peel the layers away and there’s nothing at the center. “Authentic” comes from “author” – write your own life. It’s not written yet so there is no page on which to look up what is “supposed to happen next.”
Instead of the “should” questions, replace them with “want” questions.
THE LAW OF INCREASING MARGINAL REWARDS
Thursday, March 22, 2012 § Leave a comment
The 80-20 rule: 20% effort gets you 80% of the result – nice! To get to the 100% result, you need to add another 80% of the effort – hard work!
The Law of Diminishing Marginal Returns bites.
In a competitive situation that what sets you apart is everything that counts. All the work that you have done that makes you just as good as everyone else makes you just that: like everyone else. The harder it is to create incremental improvements, the more those improvements will differentiate you.
The blue line shows the diminishing marginal return you get for your effort. The green line shows the rewards you get for your effort.
In Range-I there are no competitive rewards – everyone is just as good as you are.
In Range-II some competitors drop off and your extra effort commands some competitive reward.
In Range-III the blue line is almost horizontal. Every extra bit of return is really hard work to obtain. Most, maybe all of your competitors call it quits. This is where you can possibly command a real premium for your exceptional excellence.
The next time you encounter that place where improvements are leveling off and you are inclined to call the output done, ask yourself: what differentiation can the next push give me and what rewards can that create? In which area are you pushing beyond everyone else?
PAINFULLY DISCIPLINED
Tuesday, March 20, 2012 § Leave a comment
You know someone who is exceptionally self-disciplined, say in a sport. They are following a gruesome regimen of training and races. When they speak about their harsh discipline, they are full of pride and self-worth.
They don’t seem happy and full of content though. Rather, they are so hard on themselves that there appears to be a degree of self-loathing. They might even sound addicted to the routine of training and accomplishment.
Self-discipline is necessary for self-love, but it is not sufficient.
If you are hard on yourself – pushing your physical limits by not sleeping enough or otherwise hurting your body – pause! Why are you hard on yourself?
An adaption of Monthy Python’s Four Yorkshiremen might go like this:
“I only slept 5h last night!”
“You lucky bastard. This morning, I got up an hour before I went to bed, ran 20 miles, brought the kids to school, finished my work and now have two more days of work to do in the next hour.”
The original:
OVERTHINK THIS
Monday, March 19, 2012 § Leave a comment
When you are stuck with a question
that you just can’t seem to answer,
change the question.
Business Buddhism 