MIRROR MIRROR IN MY FRIEND
Friday, May 4, 2012 § Leave a comment
Friends and colleagues provide us with a constant stream of explicit and implicit feedback on ourselves. Like a cabinet of distortion mirrors, different people play different images back to us.
One friend is like a beautification mirror. It stretches us into a nice shape and maybe bronzes us a little bit, ensuring us that we look fabulous, no matter if we have just lost or gained 50 lbs. Just like our looks our character improves in the reflection, telling us that we are awesome no matter if we have just behaved kindly or like an asshole.
Another friend is the opposite: their feedback makes us look ugly and bad.
Then there is the category of honest mirrors – they more or less accurately reflect us. Amongst these are two very different types of people: a. those that reflect us honestly, but see us as static and stuck; b. those that see our potential.
1. The beautification mirrors are fun, but provide no value. The boost to our ego in the form of false compliments likely will stop us from pursuing growth. “Great friends are those that challenge us!” – that’s not these friends.
2. The making-us-look-shitty-mirrors are uncomfortable, but they can provide value to us. When we recognize someone as a shitty-mirror, we can disregard the value and insight of their feedback. We can nevertheless learn from our reaction – why does one thing really get to us and another doesn’t stick at all?
3. The honest mirrors that see us as static are helpful in giving us a good account of where we are. But their expectation is that we won’t change and grow, so they are not good company for our journey.
4. The honest mirrors that see our potential: that’s what great friends are made of.
ROOTED IN EFFORT
Wednesday, May 2, 2012 § Leave a comment
Does the second CEO call Oprah? Hell yes! But calling Oprah is not a strategy. The strategy is to create a sexy enough proposition that Oprah might bite.
When we obsess about what we cannot control (Oprah’s response) our experience of the world swings between manic and depressive moments and meanwhile, we waste our time unproductively.
When we focus on what we control, our experience of the world is rooted in our effort and we are constructive and productive.
It’s easy to see what incidentally has the higher chance of success with Oprah.
SUCCESS IN EVERY MOMENT
Tuesday, May 1, 2012 § Leave a comment
Seeking success and practicing success are not the same.
Please see previous post for context.
A CEO might say, “Once we have received the venture capital investment, we can build the technology platform that will satisfy our users and we will be successful.”
Or, “Once we get featured on Oprah, our sales will take off and we will be successful.”
Or, “Once we are through this recession, demand will pick up again and we will be successful.”
(For the CEO these stories will often go hand-in-hand with stories about waiting for personal happiness and life balance – “And once we are more successful I will work less and pay more attention to my partner, kids, friends, health, etc.”)
Just as with seeking personal happiness, achieving success this way can prove elusive:
A. Hoping for external circumstances to work out in your favor is not a strategy for success, it’s just a gamble.
B. The market gives it and the market takes it – maybe today you get lucky with Oprah or the VC and the day after it’s your competitor.
Buying lottery tickets can pay-off big time, but it’s not what value creation is made of. Focusing on external milestones can be a big distraction for the CEO and a drain for the organization. It distracts from value creation that you can control.
What if you define success by the values with which your team works and interacts, the conduct of your organization, the courage with which you make strategic decisions and pursue a new solution, the value you build for the customer, the way you align the organization with the impact it seeks?
The CEO/manager that focuses on these questions can have a successful day every day.
CEO seeking success
Honey: “Honey, how was your day?”
CEO: “Crappy. Oprah that bitch still hasn’t called us back about being on her show!”
CEO practicing success
Honey: “Honey, how was your day?”
CEO: “Excellent. The team is gelling, we had a great conversation about the feature set and we committed to drop the upgrade in favor of the earlier beta-launch.”
Please consider where your business strategy includes statements of hope about how your circumstances will align and change. Strike those out. Your successful strategy is made up of how you respond to circumstances, not how they form you.
Business Buddhism 