PAINFULLY DISCIPLINED
Tuesday, March 20, 2012 § Leave a comment
You know someone who is exceptionally self-disciplined, say in a sport. They are following a gruesome regimen of training and races. When they speak about their harsh discipline, they are full of pride and self-worth.
They don’t seem happy and full of content though. Rather, they are so hard on themselves that there appears to be a degree of self-loathing. They might even sound addicted to the routine of training and accomplishment.
Self-discipline is necessary for self-love, but it is not sufficient.
If you are hard on yourself – pushing your physical limits by not sleeping enough or otherwise hurting your body – pause! Why are you hard on yourself?
An adaption of Monthy Python’s Four Yorkshiremen might go like this:
“I only slept 5h last night!”
“You lucky bastard. This morning, I got up an hour before I went to bed, ran 20 miles, brought the kids to school, finished my work and now have two more days of work to do in the next hour.”
The original:
OVERTHINK THIS
Monday, March 19, 2012 § Leave a comment
When you are stuck with a question
that you just can’t seem to answer,
change the question.
“STUPID IS AS STUPID DOES”
Thursday, March 15, 2012 § Leave a comment
– Forrest Gump
Smart is as smart does
Wise is as wise does
Kind is as kind does
Loving is as loving does
What ya gonna do?
WHO THE F AM I?
Thursday, March 15, 2012 § Leave a comment
There is an enormous difference between these two questions:
1. Who am I?
2. Who do I want to be?
1 is a place to get stuck in. 2 is about moving forward.
Don’t get stuck on 1. Do spend time on 2!
BEING THE BEST YOU
Wednesday, March 14, 2012 § 1 Comment
When you imagine yourself being the best you,
what images come up in your mind? What do you wish to be doing better? What should you take better care of?
I have been asking this question to people for a while and I have yet to find someone who answers with a list of achievements that they want to accomplish.
Instead the answers are all about making a greater effort on a long list of things: go to yoga more, sleep more, eat healthier, take care of friendships, listen well, love well, watch less TV, drink less, drive carefully, concentrate more, write in your diary…
To be that best you, you hardly need anything from your environment: you don’t need to win a million dollars, get a big promotion or be more admired. Some of that might help, but you don’t need it.
It turns out that the best you is you with better self-discipline.
I DON’T HAVE TIME TO…
Monday, March 12, 2012 § Leave a comment
“I didn’t have time to…”
“I wasn’t able to…”
“I didn’t manage to…”
…is never true.
A: “I didn’t have time to do X.”
is short-hand for
B: “I didn’t set my priorities such that I accomplished X.”
It is largely understood that we mean B, when we say A. It nevertheless is not at all the same.
A is passive and avoids the idea that we have a choice in the matter. “I really wanted to, but I didn’t have time.” We might hear back, “oh poor you, you must be so busy.” A is more comfortable, because it is convenient to think that we didn’t have a choice and if it wasn’t our choice, nobody can blame us.
B is the harder path: First, we have to confront the fact that ultimately, we are making all choices in our lives. Second, it breaks with convention and confronts the recipient explicitly with the fact that we chose not to make time. It’s not just harder for us to say, it’s also harder for the recipient to hear.
If you don’t allow yourself to say A, you will find yourself reconsidering your priorities and who sets them. And where you are communicating your priories, you will find a refreshing honesty in your relationship – something to build on.
Maybe yes, maybe no, maybe you are f-ing yourself
Friday, March 9, 2012 § Leave a comment
Persisting with an activity/strategy that is not working is Einstein’s definition of insanity.
If you are not happy, but you are persisting, you might want to ask yourself what the f you are doing.
We are attached to our story and our habits. It’s hard emotional work to risk failure by trying something new.
If you are having trouble letting go of your story, try something new as an “act”. If you like it you might just make a habit of it.
A+
Thursday, March 8, 2012 § Leave a comment
As you go through your day, how much does your happiness depend on external recognition?
Our need for affirmation is a powerful instinct. We are tribal beings, interdependent with our surroundings.
If we are in an environment with poor values, this instinct draws us to make poor decisions. We succumb to peer dynamics to smoke, use drugs, lie, laze around…
Who sets the scale that you are measured on in your environment – professionally and personally?
In a group of assholes,
the biggest asshole gets an A+
Business Buddhism 