Business Buddhism

“You fucking asshole, I hate you!” seems like a pretty clear communication on how the speaker feels about “you.”

Then it makes sense to spend considerable energy answering questions such as, “Am I an asshole? Why does he hate me?”

Only it doesn’t.

Voiced aggression reveals much more about the state of mind of the speaker than it does about you, the recipient. You might well be a trigger, but unless you attacked and threatened the speaker, their aggression is likely to be an expression of anxiety and aggravation that is independent of you.

The questions then become, “What is aggravating the speaker? How can I learn more about the speaker’s situation and frame of reference? How can I help?”

Instead of playing defense on your own border, these questions lead you to engage and transform the situation.