Business Buddhism

Everything that is true for the briefing business – see post below – is true for personal relationships as well. It’s no good to get all huffy puffy about disappointed expectations that were never articulated in the first place.

You act and feel like a douche/bitch though if you set-out your demands on what needs to happen for you to be satisfied and happy.
     “Jump up from the sofa when I come home and look at me admiringly!”
     “Buy me expensive things for my birthday!”
     “I am your best lover ever! In fact, forget that you ever were with someone else.”
     “If push came to shove, I could take him.”
     “Never tell your stupid shrimp joke when we are with my friends.” (Lady is coming out of the grocery store, two big shopping bags in her hands. A man in a trench-coat steps out in front of her. He opens his coat and is completely naked underneath. She stops in her tracks and says, ‘Oh! I forgot the shrimp.’)
     “Never wear socks in bed!” (if you are not German, you might not have heard that one.)

The business briefing (see post below) that sets all sorts of rules is useless if it doesn’t also address the emotional subtext of the task. The same is true for articulating personal expectations. The example demands above are a cop-out. If you want your emotional needs met, you need to bare exactly those needs, not some stand-in behavior rules.

Baring emotional needs is a scary business. It requires you to inspect your insecurities and then to share them. If you find friends and partners that respond positively, you’ve got yourself a keeper and are building a rewarding relationship. If you don’t invest that vulnerability, you are wasting your time.