Business Buddhism

Friends and colleagues provide us with a constant stream of explicit and implicit feedback on ourselves. Like a cabinet of distortion mirrors, different people play different images back to us.

One friend is like a beautification mirror. It stretches us into a nice shape and maybe bronzes us a little bit, ensuring us that we look fabulous, no matter if we have just lost or gained 50 lbs. Just like our looks our character improves in the reflection, telling us that we are awesome no matter if we have just behaved kindly or like an asshole.

Another friend is the opposite: their feedback makes us look ugly and bad.

Then there is the category of honest mirrors – they more or less accurately reflect us. Amongst these are two very different types of people: a. those that reflect us honestly, but see us as static and stuck; b. those that see our potential.

1. The beautification mirrors are fun, but provide no value. The boost to our ego in the form of false compliments likely will stop us from pursuing growth. “Great friends are those that challenge us!” – that’s not these friends.
2. The making-us-look-shitty-mirrors are uncomfortable, but they can provide value to us. When we recognize someone as a shitty-mirror, we can disregard the value and insight of their feedback. We can nevertheless learn from our reaction – why does one thing really get to us and another doesn’t stick at all?
3. The honest mirrors that see us as static are helpful in giving us a good account of where we are. But their expectation is that we won’t change and grow, so they are not good company for our journey.
4. The honest mirrors that see our potential: that’s what great friends are made of.