MIRROR MIRROR IN MY FRIEND
Friday, May 4, 2012 § Leave a comment
Friends and colleagues provide us with a constant stream of explicit and implicit feedback on ourselves. Like a cabinet of distortion mirrors, different people play different images back to us.
One friend is like a beautification mirror. It stretches us into a nice shape and maybe bronzes us a little bit, ensuring us that we look fabulous, no matter if we have just lost or gained 50 lbs. Just like our looks our character improves in the reflection, telling us that we are awesome no matter if we have just behaved kindly or like an asshole.
Another friend is the opposite: their feedback makes us look ugly and bad.
Then there is the category of honest mirrors – they more or less accurately reflect us. Amongst these are two very different types of people: a. those that reflect us honestly, but see us as static and stuck; b. those that see our potential.
1. The beautification mirrors are fun, but provide no value. The boost to our ego in the form of false compliments likely will stop us from pursuing growth. “Great friends are those that challenge us!” – that’s not these friends.
2. The making-us-look-shitty-mirrors are uncomfortable, but they can provide value to us. When we recognize someone as a shitty-mirror, we can disregard the value and insight of their feedback. We can nevertheless learn from our reaction – why does one thing really get to us and another doesn’t stick at all?
3. The honest mirrors that see us as static are helpful in giving us a good account of where we are. But their expectation is that we won’t change and grow, so they are not good company for our journey.
4. The honest mirrors that see our potential: that’s what great friends are made of.
DELIVERING ON THE BRIEFING
Wednesday, April 18, 2012 § 1 Comment
It’s easy to give a general direction to your staff member and then be disappointed with the results. “If only my staff would be better, but they just don’t produce up to my expectations,” you might hear a manager say. That’s not an acceptable response.
Sitting down and putting in writing what you expect from a staff-member or supplier takes time and effort. Your staff cannot deliver on a briefing, if there is no briefing.
There are standard things that a brief needs to cover (objectives, resources, constraints, etc.). Crucial though is your soul-searching on what you really want, what you are willing to give and what you are willing to see happen.
The task exists because you want some innovation/change. That means some things that are in place must be torn down and new things need to be built. The task exists because it is not clear what exactly needs to happen – the briefing is not an instruction. To innovate, your staff member needs to get an understanding of the radicalness with which to approach the task and what sacred cows to stay clear of. In most cases there is a bunch of organizational baggage and history attached to what can and cannot be changed.
Those taboos in the organization and in yourself are tough to acknowledge. It takes honest reflection and courage to express them and to commit to what’s allowed to happen.
Delivering that briefing is hard work. That’s what leadership is.
Business Buddhism 