R-E-S-P-E-C-T or I KINDA LIKE YOUR HAIR, DONALD
Thursday, March 29, 2012 § Leave a comment
Etymologically “respect” is made up of looking back at someone. It’s about regard for past actions. Respecting you means I know what to expect from you. It’s the consistency of your actions. Is it sufficient to be consistent? No. Someone who is consistently late will not be respected for always being late. But we might say, “I respect you for always being on time”, or “for always trying to be honest with me.” It’s about something that takes effort.
When we see someone very successful we might be inclined to respect them. We don’t respect them for their achievements though; we respect them for what we assume they did for their success. It’s not the result we respect, but the effort and discipline that lead them there.
You can’t respect Donald Trump for having countless buildings in NYC with his name on it. I might respect him for sticking to his hair-set-up though – because I have to assume that it takes emotional commitment to keep it that way, given how much fun he is made of because of it. We are respected for the effort that we put into something, especially when it is related to emotional integrity. Getting respect begins with respecting ourselves – doing what we think is right is a commitment that we keep to ourselves. It takes conviction and courage to act with integrity.
When we achieve success without courage and conviction, it is not fulfilling. Getting lucky gives us a short-term boost of joy, but doesn’t provide us with sustained self-respect and content. Society is better at celebrating achievements than integrity. That’s confusing: We might imagine we need achievements to be successful, respected and liked. But it’s the other way around! Our success should be defined by the respect that we get – from ourselves first and foremost. Commercial success has a great chance of following that personal success.
Success is not a prerequisite to respect; respect is the prerequisite to success.
We earn respect from ourselves and others when we courageously do what we believe in.
Respect Donald, respect!
BEING THE BEST YOU
Wednesday, March 14, 2012 § 1 Comment
When you imagine yourself being the best you,
what images come up in your mind? What do you wish to be doing better? What should you take better care of?
I have been asking this question to people for a while and I have yet to find someone who answers with a list of achievements that they want to accomplish.
Instead the answers are all about making a greater effort on a long list of things: go to yoga more, sleep more, eat healthier, take care of friendships, listen well, love well, watch less TV, drink less, drive carefully, concentrate more, write in your diary…
To be that best you, you hardly need anything from your environment: you don’t need to win a million dollars, get a big promotion or be more admired. Some of that might help, but you don’t need it.
It turns out that the best you is you with better self-discipline.
Business Buddhism 