“YOU ARE AN SOB AND I AM DONE TALKING TO YOU”
Thursday, April 12, 2012 § Leave a comment
Bringing a bunch of people together that agree on everything can be fun, but we know that it’s not what will make the team win the innovation prize. On the other hand, bringing a group together that is at odds with each other appears to bring about a lot of friction and little to show for it.
So when putting our team together at work or at play, we often opt for the easy-hopping-consenting-team [pink quadrant]. How many of your friends have a different political leaning, or view on food, spending money, religion, raising children, making money, gay-marriage and Israel-Palestine?
But, agreeing on things going into discussions doesn’t create a learning and growth opportunity. Can we have discussions that are fun and challenging?
Yep! Take shared values + different views points!
If we feel comfortable with each others’ values, our different approach, background and knowledge become an asset, as we exchange each others’ different insights and develop new thoughts. [blue quadrant]
If we distrust each others’ values, the different viewpoints become a threat and the discussion cannot become constructive.
Conclusion: Establish shared values and motivations and assemble groups with vastly different points of view.

UNREASONABLE
Tuesday, March 13, 2012 § Leave a comment
That person that you find completely unreasonable –
you are doing a shitty job of understanding their reasons.
Granted: they might not be good at sharing their reasons, they don’t want to reveal their reasons or they might not themselves have understood their reasons. Each of those cases represents a great opportunity for you though.
If you can make sense of the person that everyone else finds unreasonable, then you become indispensable for that person (and possibly for others that benefit from your understanding) – be it your client, your boss, your spouse or a friend.
Listen better, build trust better, and understand better. The premise you need to believe: everybody has their reasons.